the boy, his arm and the guilt.

the boy has been bouncing on the trampoline for years.  since he was a small chubby little guy.

 

he has always gone out there on his own and would just jump, up and down on his own for the longest time.  it has always been like he goes in a zone, time in his own head, scheming and imagining.  it would calm him, it has always been his go to when he got shooed outside.

well, yesterday was the day that came to an end, snap.
the boy broke his arm.

yes, it was bound to happen
yes, trampolines are an accident waiting to happen
no, there is not a net around it
yes, i am an awful mom

so now that we have gotten that out of the way.

it went down like this, the first day of summer break, the boy got shooed outside and off fortnite. jumping away he goes, and attempts the cardinal trampoline sin, a flip.  doesn’t land the flip and snap, just like a pencil snapping as he would describe it.

Clean break of both bones in his forearm.

where am i? work.
i get a picture message of the snapped S shaped arm, ummmm so gross!  i will spare you posting it here. gross, and not what you want to see pop up on your message from your kid.  him laying his head on the table with his S shaped arm = mild heart attack.

at that exact moment i was out and about running errands, not in my car i might add.  so i need to get back to work.

this is when it went by really fast.
I am: 
trying to pull over to try to talk to him
he is in route to the er
i am calling the ortho office
sending a picture of the insurance card
my boy is in pain and i am not able to get right to him.

by the time i get back to work and i can get to my car to make the 30 minute drive to the hospital, the boy is being numbed up and are ready to cast him.
so no point in me racing there, he is on his way home with a quarter pounder.

i finish up my work, head to drug mart to get him some necessities and head home.
i walk in the door, he comes right up to me before i am in and just hugs me.  he is a wreck!  my boy is so upset…queue the mom guilt, like a water pipe just burst and the mom guilt is shooting directly at me.  my boy is so stinking mad at himself for this injury.  he had big plans this summer.

The numbing is wearing off, he is in pain and he is beating himself up.
I am beating myself up
+
I have allowed the trampoline all these years
=

I am the worst mom in the world 

I wasn’t there when it happened, I wasn’t there to take him to the hospital, I wasn’t there to have him squeeze my hand when it hurt, I wasn’t there when they gave him the Novocaine shots, I wasn’t there when they showed the xray, I wasn’t there to tell him it was going to be ok, I wasn’t there when he picked his cast color, I wasn’t there when they casted it, I wasn’t there to make the follow up appointment, I wasn’t there to get him the quarter pounder meal after (that is probably a good thing).

yes, it is dangerous, honestly my whole back yard/home is a danger zone.
we have:
a climber set
an above ground pool
scooters
basketball hoop
bikes
slip and slides
sprinklers
pogo sticks
the list goes on and on.

Every single time they walk out that door to play, an accident can happen.  I cant switch my mindset to wrapping them in a bubble and sending them off, unless they are those fun bubble balls you slam into each other in!

Accidents are always going to happen, I just have to
pray
pray
pray
and have faith that they have been raised well enough to make decisions that can keep them safe as possible.  Yes, a flip on the trampoline is a dumb decision. the rule is no flips.  An accident happened, it could have been worse, it could have been better.  Either way I cant lock him up.  I want him to live, I want him to do his thing, get dirty, take risks (not crazy risks, but some risks) and he learned from this risk.  So I will take a broken bone and the lesson he learned.  I don’t have to punish him, he is doing that to himself.  A great lesson in choices, because he is going to be making choices for the rest of his years.

As for me, the guilt is going away, it wasn’t like he drove himself to the hospital, he was in good hands with his dad, who is calm, calm, calm in these situations.  There is a reason I wasn’t there, because I most likely would have yaked, cried and been a wreck.  That being said, the mom guilt is still strong and hopefully in 25 years, when they are grown and visiting me at my beach house, (because that is the only way I will get them to visit me) this will be a mom guilt story i will be crying tears of laughter from.

Road Tripping

Wow… we just pulled in from a great, warm sun filled vacation.  The last days unexpected twist was the road trip part of it all.  I watched airfare for the past month, looking at every combo of days and cities and for the number of people to fly, well it was just not in the trying to pay off everything budget.  I really did not want to give up my week in the sun, so grateful for the generous company I work for we had the house in Naples for 7 sunny days pool/beach side was what I very, very much needed.  More on that  in a later post, this post is all about road tripping with 4 kids and how to make it manageable.

This wasn’t our first OH -> FL trek. We have driven there multiple times to Disney, but we were going a bit further this time, Naples, so adding another 3-4 hours on the trip.  Also, in previous trips the kids were smaller, not just in age, but in height.  We have driven to Hilton Head several times, but 12 hours is a lot more doable than 22, but like I said, I was determined to get to the sun.

Here are some tips when traveling with big and little kids, since it is a mix in my car: get on the road when they can sleep.  Not everyone agrees with this one, but it works great for us.  they are excited to go, happy to wake up in the middle of the night and shuffle into the car.  I always have great intentions to be packed and ready to get sleep and then start the trek, but well, my intentions are always good.  Either way, the plan is usually to leave about 3am and it ends up being 4.  I drive first, pop headphones in and tune into a podcast, this trip I was getting caught up on this one, started this one and this one I just love! 🙂

I get us about 5 hours in, just into West Virginia and watch the sun come up over the hills, we then need gas and make the switch.  It works well and we are well into the journey by the time any kids are stirring.  Any other driver switches are done on the fly, usually at a gas station while filling up or just pulling off an exit, a quick run around the car, and back onto the freeway.  It is like we are a well versed pit crew.

stop for 1 meal –  like get out of the car and stretch those legs.  Most times we are blasting right through, this trip was a bit different on the way down, we were heading to North Carolina to check out all of the One Tree Hill spots, so we were just plowing through to get there.

On the way out we ate on the go, in the car.  I loaded up on Spark for the second half of my driving and we blasted through.  On the way home we did it a bit different, drove all night, again, blasting through, so we did do the early morning stop for breakfast at Bob Evans.  Everyone slept on and off through the night and was stirring with about  4 hours to go in the trip, so it was a perfect time for a breakfast break.

put the bigger kids in the way back –  I love my car, and one of the things I love is the 2 captains seats in the middle row that allows for an aisle down the middle.  The 2 big kids, which now means they are taller in height too, head straight for the back.  They switch on and off stretching their legs down the middle and falling into a nook in the floor, but it works for them back there.  Yes, there is always the argument of someone’s feet coming up into the front 2 seats to the younger kids,  J is mad at someone for touching her arm rest with their foot, but overall, having the 2 bigger ones in the back works best.

devices, just let them have them –  They do all pick movies and watch  together, but iPod’s, iPhone’s & iPads are in high demand during the travel.  Yes, I could be that mom that finds the fun travel games, license plate bingo etc, but honestly, that is going to end bad.  Someone is going to think they saw it first or it will get too competitive and a fight will break out.  We are on our way for quality family time, so I am totally on board for them to have their head in a device on the road.  It turns out they don’t use them the whole time, actually, they get bored with it as with everything else.  Chargers are key here, portable chargers that can be used to reload those batteries during movie time and chargers for every outlet,  keep those devices charged.  I cant tell you how many time in our 50+ hours in the car did I hear, I need to plug in.  Pull out all the cords, all the portable chargers you have picked up over the years and get them all in a big ziplock bag to keep handy and keep charging.  Rotate the devices and the chargers and don’t let the device with the GPS get low!

speaking of ziplock bags, keep some in the glove box –  Those mountain roads get curvy and if it is during the day and a kid is coloring, while expect the car sickness and puking to come soon after.  I learned this one the hard way years ago in Virginia which had me running into a Target in flip flops buying some new pj’s.  Keep those wipes and ziplock bags handy in case the car sickness strikes.  Nothing worse that a packed car that smells like puke.

my favorite part – there are more laughs than tears.  I love that they are having sibling road trip memories together, squished in together, sometimes actually snuggling, laughing and watching movies (usually a Disney movie!) together.

Looking that rear view mirror and seeing them together and knowing they have these memories, stories and treasures in their heart to tell years later fills my heart so stinking full!  I can picture it now, sitting on the outdoor patio, together, years later, they are in college probably one still high school, tears of laughter rolling down our faces as they tell the war stories of traveling 24+ hours in the car together.

get out in South Carolina – Just do it, it doesn’t matter if it is a rest stop, Starbucks or shopping plaza, getting out in South Carolina and taking in that amazing, fresh smelling, moss in the trees, salt water air is so so good for the soul, or at least mine.  Each and every time I have crossed into South Carolina a sense of peace falls over me and my heart feels full.  If you are heading that way, do yourself a favor and stop off for a breather in South Carolina.  It can be simply for just minutes, just take in that air.

why run?

it is that time of year, cleveland marathon time, well in my case cleveland half marathon.

several years back, after the slowest jog over the finish line of the chicago marathon, i decided i was going to be a halfer girl for my remaining running years.  it is about time for me to run my annual 13.2 miles which also means i have started training to do so.  if you call running a few times a week and maybe throw a 6 miler in on the weekends training, but hey, that is training for me!
i have been a consistent runner for about the last 20 years, initially i started running because it burns lots of calories = weight loss.  that is not the case any more, not that i don’t still burn a lot of calories, but the weight loss doesn’t come with it and that really isn’t my goal or my why. 
I was recently asked…
 ‘why do you run?’
i run because it keeps me sane, or as sane as i can be. 🙂
i know this doesn’t just apply to me, nor am i the first to talk about it,as with every workout i do, but especially running there are several reason why.
it gives me time to just think
clears my mind
releases stress
makes me a better person
chases away the crabbiness
makes me a better mom, friend, co-worker etc.
make me productive, seriously… i get so much more done after a good run!
it also makes me eat, like a lot!
my children know this too…they can tell, they sense my irritation increase when the day is moving along and i have yet to break a sweat.  often times they are the ones pushing me out the door.
‘please mom, you just need to go workout, please go do something!’
they, being grace (14), wyatt (12), jesse (8) mae (5), are main motivators as to why i run. my hope is that over time they may want to join me and maybe, just maybe they themselves will be consistent runners one day.  as for now though, they are pushing me out the door.
generally i work out 6-7 days a week,  at the minimum i need 3 of those workouts to be a run.  i need that sweat
the banging of my knees
the mindless netflix show
or loud music
the chaffing
the blisters
the heart rate increase
the burn of sweat dripping in my eye
the mind game
the thought wandering
the negotiations i make with my self along the way
running, at times it can be the hardest thing to gear myself up for, those are usually the best runs, and other times i just pop right up and go.  but nothing tops that feeling of being done.  it doesnt matter if it is a quarter of a mile or 26.2, when i have that distance in my head that i am going to do, hitting cool down on the treadmill or the buzz of the watch telling me i have hit that distance is satisfaction.  a double strike through on my list of things to do.  one that cannot be compared to many others on the accomplishment rating.
it has taken me years to call myself a runner, but regardless of my pace or distance i am just that, a runner, and i am grateful to be.

tips after tonsils

monday morning bright and early 2 of my girls went in to have their tonsils out. im not much of a remove your organs and surgeries, actually i dont take my kids to the doctor for too much, but this was necessary.

grace gets strep or tonsillitis, ummm…i didnt even know that was a thing until we started this madness, all.the.time. she had strep 6 times in 2016.
mae had tonsils a big as boulders, ok maybe very large river rocks. her tonsils would actually touch each other when she would get sick. that my friends is scary, like she stops breathing scary. she also snores like, well, like her dad, due to the tonsils. most importantly, her breath, like she can knock you over with the dragon breath, with the tonsils gone all of the above should improve.
btw…snoring worse, but im guessing , praying, hoping that is because she is still recovering.

i really liked the tag team thing.

mae went first, after being all prepped in her stylish hat, they rolled her off in a wagon into the or.

i was able to go in with her while she was put under, so pitiful. she was never scared at all, but i thought she looked a bit nervous when she was breathing into the mask, that may have broke me up a bit but i fought through wanting to crawl up onto the table next to her and snuggle in but i left her int he care of the awesome doctors and nurses and made my way over to grace as she was being prepped to go.  grace with an iv, creepy!

less than 45 minutes later, mae was rolling out and grace was rolling in. i was able to sit with grace while she went out to dreamland and then headed over to snuggle in with my no tonsils 5 year old. poor mae mae looked at me with her big old brown eyes full of big old tears and screeched ‘i want my tonsils back.’
broke my heart. but what followed…amazing! my sweet little 5 year old snuggled into me and proceeded to lay on me for the next hour sleeping and snoring, really really snoring. there was also some crying. can i tell you how much i miss a sweet baby laying on me sleeping. so amazing!

grace came rolling out and we sat watching her come out of anesthesia, ummm so funny! we were all packed in together in a recovery room, so sweet.

then another hour later we are heading home ready to set up camp on the couch and recover.

which leads me to, my 5 tips to recover from having tonsils out:

1//   ice chips – hopefully you have a  fridge that spits out chopped ice, it is super handy. if not, pop them into your blender or vita mix and chop some ice. these girls have been eating ice chips consistently for the pat 3 days. 

2//  tylenol and mortin – keep it coming. my goal in all this was to stay ahead of the pain. i didnt…and still dont want them to have that crazy crash i keep hearing about around day 2-3. more so grace, they say it is tougher on her because she is older. i have my post it note stuck to the counter next to the drugs to keep track of who is getting what and when. mae is switching tylenol/motrin every 4 hours and grace is going tylenol mainly, with some pain pills thrown in there at night. this tylenol she like the best, something about the cool blast, it helps she says.

                                                      Image result for tylenol cool burst

3//  jello – just get all the flavors.  we have gone through boxes and bowls of jello. im sticking to the homemade stuff as opposed to the pre packged cause you know nothing but the best homemade treats for my girls. kidding, is boxed jello really considered home made?

4//  wake them up – i know, what?? why would you wake a sleeping sick child? because you need to give them the meds and ice chips. wake them up throughout the night, every 4 hours. they need a redose of medicine as well as you need to keep those ice chips moving through. the goal is to keep that sore wet so it doesnt dry out. it seems to be my life goal these days. although, todd does the going to get the medicine and fresh ice chips. i just prop them up and pop it down the hatch. keep those cold ice chips coming.

5//  netflix/pawpatrol – get out the ipad, chromebook, dvr any device is needed.  i think grace has watched 2 seasons of greys and mae has flipped through all of her 50+ pawpatrols. prop up the cups of ice chips, wrap the ice pack around their neck and snuggle in with a good blanket. this is the hardest part on me, just lay around.

im open to tips, seriously, if you have tips to make this recovery smoother, im ready for them!

the birthday gal

i know, all the moms and dads say it. they warn you when you have kids it flies by, and that has happened…

this sweet baby is 5 today.


breaks
my
heart

what a perfect piece to complete the puzzle of our squad. she is a little piece of everyone wrapped into her crazy self and i don’t even remember life before her.

this here was my favorite picture:

i so remember laying her sweet little sleeping head down on this wood deck, thinking, most people would not lay their newborn baby on this, but it is going to be the cutest darn pic, the things we do for a great picture. you will be happy to know i did brush all the debris and ants away first. 

anyway you can read the original post with these shots here

so for today, as you can imagine i am super grateful for this sweet gal and all the joy she has brought to my life and i am sure a few others too. 
super
super 
grateful

for her love of her sisters and brother
for her kindness
she is a good listener (at school)
her raspy party girl voice
her fierce competitive attitude
her determination
her sweet sweet snuggles at night
and her dragon breath in the morning. 

there is so much to be grateful for with my mae mae liz. 

 i miss those sweet little feet! 


oh hey friday…grateful edition

I’m still keeping on with my grateful posts and mixing it in with oh hey friday.

i havent lined up in awhile, so lets go back to it.
5 anything, 5 something, you pick just link it back here to september farm and the farmers wife. leave a comment here too so i know who to go and read along with. 

                            

oh and how cute is this summer badge that goes with it?? 

so lets talk grateful, these of course are in no particular order. 🙂 

1//     my virtual beachbody groups – so grateful for this, for so many different reasons. when these girls get together on an app and get to encouraging, swapping stories, tips and recipes only good comes from it all. these peeps are from all over and working hard to crush fitness goals. now of course that makes me super grateful but more so is that these gals have become my friends, like real friends and i love that. we are in the trenches together making changes within ourselves that is making us better friends, moms, wives, daughters, aunts, uncles, husbands, coworkers…you get the drift. hearing from them day in and out, sometimes multiple times, sometimes day in between, but still hearing from them and the positivity that is happening i am just so darn grateful for that. 

the good news we are always starting again, adding new focused virtual boot campers and setting new goals. you can get in on this!! so lets talk about what works best for you to be successful! 


2//   my bleacher/insanity pals – in addition to my virtual boot camp there is still a group of us that get together each week and sweet it out with insanity. ummm….there is a lot of sweat going on with these groups and it is just awesome. these peeps inspire me to push harder and dig deeper each week to get the most out of our workout. so so grateful for their insertion week after week. 


3//  my beachbody business – totally grateful, mainly, it keeps me accountable and checked in with my goals. those goals are always evolving but one thing remains constant, the satisfaction that is amazing when i reach that goal. right now my extra beachbody money is getting stored away for christmas, in hopes of a cash christmas morning. so having the opportunity to have my own business, working it when i can around my families schedule and getting results spiritually, mentally and physically, i am grateful for that opportunity. but again, what i am grateful for the most is the relationships i have gained from that opportunity. livelong relationships i would not have it wasn’t for fitness – family – fun! 


4//  my family values fitness – yes, this one i am super grateful for. my kids have learned so much from this example of fitness. they see first hand and understand:

  • hard work
  • setting goals and reaching them
  • good healthy habits
  • fitness is fun
  • it is about being strong and secure
  • a good sweat rejuvenates you
  • exhaustion is a good thing
  • the love of chocolate chip cookies, because yes, we love chocolate chip cookies!
my girls (and my boy) know we are not focused on the scale, the weight or if you made the all star team, but you have to give 100%, be coachable and be strong and confident in yourself and what you give in all you do. i am grateful for this lesson because it has made me a better confident and strong me. 
                                     
5//  fitness – yes, i realize that is what i talked about in all of these ^^^^^^ but i am super grateful to live in a country and world where fitness is an option and spreading that love of fitness is contagious. in the past few years, since starting the spread my fitness love, it has taken me to such a better place in my life and a happier me. so i am super super grateful for that. 

road tripping

Im taking this blog on the road, not really, but I am typing this while on the turnpike heading to chitown to watch my oldest gal play in the windy city national qualifier. so for this volleyball road show the whole squad is in tow, so im sharing my top 5 volleyball tournament traveling tips.

link on up with september farm and the farmers wife but first, leave me a comment, especially if you are one of those volleyabll moms. I am one, we should start a support group, or a hastag, that is for another post though I suppose. either way leave me a comment so I know you stopped by.

1// ez pass – my friend kati says it best ‘it is just so easy’. And you know what, she is so right, it is just is so easy. ours is obviously from the great state of OH-IO but it can be used everywhere. if you are not familiar with these, well im not sure where you have been, but I still think your great. basically you load up your ez pass and then cruise right through those toll booths and not have to wait in the line to pay your toll.

2// snacks – this is checklist number 1. my girl plays hard and I have no clue as to why, but none of these events offer a good choice for snacks/breakfast/lunch/dinner – and if you are familiar with club volleyball, again part of my club, you know you are there for all three meals. – so it is my mom duty, which was written in my contract when she was born, to provide healthy snacks and meals for her. I usually try to make these energy balls:
No-Bake Energy Bites 1 cup (dry) oatmeal 1/2 cup chocolate chips 1/2 cup peanut butter 1/2 cup ground flaxseed 1/3 cup honey 1 tsp. vanilla:
but we have the usual with us:

  • cuties
  • turkey sandwich
  • pretzels
  • apples
  • trail mix
  • goldfish
  • dried fruit
  • water – lots of water, those big middles need to hydrate

and also in addition to my little rant about how the good choices at these events are limited, how about the ones that do not allow you to bring in food, to force you to purchase the junk food junkie menu items, annoying! players/families invest quite a bit of money to play at every level so don’t make me smuggle my food in like a hoarder, I am not asking to roll in a cooler, but lets be reasonable and not frisk me at the door for bringing in my dried fruit. *end rant 🙂
3// chairs/old person chair/blankets – you really have to be prepared with this one. there are so many different tournament set ups you just never know what the seating is going to be all about it. I made the commitment into the old persons club a few years ago, made that purchase of the item my grandma always brought to the game, but boy has it been a life saver. if bleachers are the only option this is a life saver.
chair
not only does it keep your butt off the freezing cold metal bleacher, but you can sit back and have some back support. I do know from experience that some not so friendly attendees do not always appreciate the chair, im pretty sure she was just crabby and jealous of my back support.
you can also use these pop up chairs, if there isnt bleachers or if there is and also floor space to set up camp. remember, you are in this to win this so you could be looking at a good 12-15 hours at this event, comfort is key.
which brings me to the blanket, this had multi uses. these events are usually in some type of convention center or converted warehouse, so installation and warmth is not included. I strongly suggest a blanket to throw over your legs, again I am old, old people get cold. also, club volleyball season is winter, winter in my parts = snow and cold. dress in layers.
the girls also use the blanket to set up ‘camp’. camp is where the team sits throughout the day during their ‘rest’ sessions or breaks. aunt laura got my 2 volleyball girls this one for christmas this year, super cute.
blanket
4//   electronic devices & chargers – you need them, especially if you are bringing the younger squad along. I know, I know, limit screen time… whatever. tell me that after you spend the day with three additional offspring reminding you of how bored they are and have eaten all the said healthy snacks and gone through $50 for the ‘snack bar’. do you remember the part about a 12-15 hour day? those people are done,
D-O-N-E done,
and the screen time is the only thing that will hush them at that point. we start the day out all, ‘oh you brought your books, great, get your reading in.’ and ‘thank you for coloring me the beautiful picture.’ or how about ‘I love the 53rd braclet you loomed me.’ in the end… just let them have the screen time.
now for myself, I can:

  • read on my ipad,
  • get lots of work done, remember I am a beachbody coach, I can work everywhere.
  • update this here blog
  • listen to personal development
  • Or just take a nap, dont judge, I have found myself a spot tucked away and have napped, I told you…it’s a long day and it starts early.

5// coloring book & pencils – ok this trick I learned this year and it has been a life saver thus far. Now this one may just pertain to me, sometimes I need something that calms me and this does the trick.

When things gets intense, matches are close, serves are going crazy, jumps are not up there to block and hits are going out or into the net, just focus on the coloring. Blending, fun patterns, coloring the same spot over and over, it happens. Just whispering positive affirmations in your head and trying to stay in the lines helps. I swear, im not crazy.
that’s it! ready to link up? are you a volleyball traveling family too?
road trip

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑