I work out….

no I don’t, but this girl does!
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This is something that has been KILLING me lately, I cannot get my mojo back and it is bumming me out. It is a long boring story, but if I type it, well then maybe it will bring me back, here goes.  Before I was pregnant with Mae I was running so good, training for the Chicago Marathon was one of the best experiences of my life. Most of that was due to my amazing running friends and how much fun I had with them. After 10-10-10 I stopped, I didn’t do much while pregnant, some yoga and walking here and there, but I would watch people running and would be so jealous, because I wanted to. A week after Mae was born I was walking, 2 weeks later I ran 3 miles, then I slowly but surely was going 4-6 miles three days a week with a longer one in there. I ran a half when Mae was 2 months old, then another half November 21st…that half killed me. I was burned out and said I am done running for awhile. That was fine because I hate running out in the cold, and it was getting cold out, so I was fine with my break.
The week after Thanksgiving I started weight training, this was for several reasons, but mainly because I am weak, I always have been and hated that. I cant stand my arms or the way my triceps blow in the breeze! I knew I needed to weight train in order to try to reduce the fupa and get some sort of shape back in my life. Enter my great pal Andy. Fitness, weight training is his life. He studies it, obsess on the perfect form, knows the science behind what foods to eat and when, he is disciplined. I think I was his science project, but I was good with that, and I was lucky to have him help me, I couldn’t have asked for a better, non judging, honest, ethical person to train me.  The first day I went to gym I was totally prepared for this new venture and was excited about it! I left frustrated and annoyed, because I SUCKED at it. I could not even squat a 12lb rubber bar let alone the real bar. I had to drop so low to dead lift 9 times out of 10 I feel over because I could not keep my balance. A pull up, well that made me laugh! Not Andy though, he was convinced I could do this, and each week I got stronger, was squatting with real weight on the bar, dead lifting off the ground where I was supposed to, and was doing 30 pull ups each workout, that is with assistance. THEN.I.HIT.A.WALL…not a dry wall, but a hard, cinder block, cement wall! I weighed myself, was chubbier than ever and was gaining weight by the day. NO my clothes were not fitting better, NO I did not feel better I was crabby and done.
(I will say I did go to yoga, and felt a ton stronger though, i could hold planks, and do push ups, that was fun!) Weight lifting was bringing me down hard, I realized I was working out half the amount and a quarter of the time I used to, and not running was making me super crabby and the poor people that live with me were being affected by that. The weight training was killing my morale and I was not getting that mind numbing run/sweat time. So I stopped, I freaked out and panicked! Andy was not at the gym with me, I was defeated, frustrated, chubby and done.
This week I have ran, mind numbing, sweaty runs, and it has helped me but I know I need to go and pick up the weights again. I need to find the balance of weight training and running and this week I AM GOING TO FIND IT! Sunday morning I am going back into the weight room, and somehow throughout the week I am going to get both in, running and weight training. I have to, for my own sanity, I need to balance both somehow. I have let Andy down, and believe me, Andy is not the person you want to let down.He told me ‘I didn’t think you were a quitter’ and although I did not either, I was. I had gotten so frustrated and freaked out I had quit. Quit doing both things that made me feel much better.
So…if I publicly state it here, to my 3 followers, then I cannot quit again. I do not want to be a quitter, or a weak, floppy arm tricep girl. So my week of quitting weight training is over. I have taken 7 days off, and I cant let that happen again. I WILL find the best running/weight training combo that works perfect for me, and I will find it THIS week!  Heck, if I quit I will never look like the girl above!

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